Letting Go of Preferences

A central theme running through my life—and through this collection of essays—is the struggle to surrender to what is. Letting things be without forcing them into the shape of my preferences has always felt like an elusive ideal.

Is it realistic to aspire to the Eastern ideal of giving up preferences altogether? The notion sounds noble: accept everything simply because it happens. But when something occurs that we do not want, the mind rebels. Sustained resistance becomes a recipe for chronic distress, even madness.

And yet, the alternative—radical acceptance—can feel equally impossible. Still, if peace of mind is a priority, the effort seems worth making. Are there people who can truly extinguish preference and live in equanimity, untouched by sadness, anger, fear, or even joy?

The question: Do you think it is realistic or possible to give up preference and truly let go? And what do you believe the Eastern philosophers meant by striving to do so?